About Mom Meltdowns: No One Is Coming to Save You

CALLING ALL MOMS

As women, it’s time that we do what we do because we are called to it, not out of comparison or competition. What do I mean by that?

There are an increasing number of moms today who are complaining ad nauseam about how difficult motherhood is and how no one is coming to save them. I don’t know where this notion came from. 

I don’t know why some of us believe we need to be saved from being a mom when being a mom is a decision.

You decide to become a mother. You decide to have a child. You don’t have to have children—you decide to.

THE COMPARISON TRAP

But if you subscribe to the notion that other people’s ideals govern your actions, you find yourself comparing yourself to other women. Feeling that to be validated as a woman you need to have children. And so you ration, I am of that age. I’m supposed to have children.

Never mind that you feel called to the business sector with a vision to make your mark there.  

But because you feel you’re supposed to prove you’re a woman by birthing a baby and not just a business—you become a mother. 

And you resent it the whole time because you treat motherhood like a side hustle when it’s actually a full-time venture in and of itself.  

So because you didn’t decide to become a mother, you just had a child because of comparison, you find yourself in a pickle where you’re constantly questioning your choice.

Double-mindedness is like double vision—it makes you unstable.

And you want the world to catch you in free fall and save you from something you never had clarity about. 

A VALUE PROPOSITION COMPETITION

On the other hand, you have women who feel like they’re in competition with men.

They’ve bought into the ideal lie that to be the stay-at-home parent while their husband goes to work in this season makes them less than.

So, to avoid that “insignificance,” you decide you need to enter the workforce. You will have a job while you raise your children because it will not be said you see yourself as less than a man. 

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

But because you didn’t decide about (1) becoming a mother and (2) what that will look like for you based on the vision that you have for your family, rather you made a choice in response to an ideal the world defined.

And now you’re in a bind about issues like not having enough postpartum time.

You need time with your new baby, but the job wants you back to work in 6 weeks. And you say that’s unfair. Why would they expect?

They want you to come back to work because you wanted a job, and they gave it to you. And now you want them to support you in your other job as a mother.

They’re not here for that. 
They’re a company.
They’re running a business.

And the six months that you’re asking for still isn’t enough time for you to bond with your child while your hormones recalibrate. 

So even the rescue you’re asking for isn’t what’s necessary for you or your baby, but you don’t know that because you’re just making choices—you’re not making decisions.

MOTHERHOOD IS NOT A CONDITION, IT’S A CALLING

You make decisions after careful thought. You can make a choice on a whim, but a decision requires consideration. Motherhood is a decision that requires consideration. Like marriage, it’s not to be entered into lightly.

Ask yourself…

How am I wired?
What am I called to?
What season am I in?
What do I envision for my family, and what is that based on?
What is my role in that vision?

And have I decided to commit to it?

Then you know what’s best to do at what time—with peace even under pressure. 

You’re not a victim. You’re the woman for the job. And I’m rooting for you!

If you have a comment, I’d love to hear from you. Please share it here.

**The views and opinions expressed should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your health care professional for any health questions.