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When you feel low, unmotivated, or emotionally exhausted as a mother, your instinct might be to pull inward and shut down. But one of the fastest ways out of that emotional pit isn’t self-care tips or scrolling to escape—it’s connection.

Connect with your sister? Of course.
A friend? Sure.
And, specifically, connect with your child.

The one who feels your disconnection firsthand.

Most of us weren’t raised in homes where feelings were named, validated, or safely expressed. Intentionally or not, our parents taught us to survive, to push through, and to stay quiet. So now, when our own children express emotional needs, we often feel overwhelmed, irritated, or numb—not because we don’t love them, but because we never saw how to handle emotions in a healthy way.

I know this all too well.

I grew up with immigrant parents who worked incredibly hard, but emotional conversations weren’t part of our home. Feelings happened in silence.

So, when my sons were toddlers and our military family started moving frequently, I felt depression creeping back in. But instead of turning inward, I turned toward them.

I asked them how the moves felt and gave them words for those feelings.
I let them know I relate.
And I made space for emotions I wasn’t welcome to express as a child.

That one shift changed everything.

I used what tormented me to teach my children that feelings are signals to face, not shame to flee.

Children don’t just “act out” for no reason. What we often label as behavioral problems are symptoms of emotional isolation. Anxiety, depression, stomach aches, poor focus, emotional outbursts—these aren’t random. They are signs of disconnection.

Like you, a child who feels unseen doesn’t just feel sad—they feel alone.

And when a child feels alone, they will take whatever version of connection they can get, even if that’s negative attention.

Tearing up the house.
Acting out in school.
Being disruptive.

Not because they’re “bad,” but because silence hurts more than discipline.

And many children don’t have the words to explain this.

That’s where you come in.

You don’t have to be a therapist to help your child connect to what they feel inside. Just the willingness to slow down, look at life through their eyes, and offer language to what they feel.

Not just:
• a silent shoulder shrug
• “I’m mad.”
• “I’m sad.”

But:
• “I felt disappointed.”
• “I felt embarrassed.”
• “I felt left out.”
• “I felt overwhelmed.”

When you give them those words, you give them power. You become their advocate and a safe person to process life with.

And when you invite them to speak or write their feelings instead of swallowing them, you empower them to release shame from their bodies. Their nervous systems let go of tension. And their brains and bodies get back into rhythm.

That’s why so many children with emotional stress develop unexplained stomach aches or focus issues. Their feelings have nowhere to go, so their bodies carry the weight, in every sense.

The same goes for you.

If you struggle to regulate your own emotions, your child will follow in your footsteps. You can’t lead your child where you refuse to go. I don’t say that to shame you but to encourage you to soar.

When your child sees you journaling, reflecting, and naming your feelings, they learn that emotional strength isn’t pretending you’re fine. It’s learning how to process what hurts.

They know you’re not perfect. You haven’t “arrived” as a mom. But you are further down the road than they are.

And a little of your wisdom goes a long way in helping them navigate life well.

I’m rooting for you!

If you have a comment, I’d love to hear from you. Please share it here.

**The views and opinions expressed should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your health care professional for any health questions.