When children grow up in homes where emotional presence is scarce, they learn to fend for themselves far too early. And while independence is a valuable trait, premature emotional independence comes at a cost—often one that shows up as anxiety, depression, or disconnection later in life.
Home Sweet Home
As moms, we want to raise resilient children. But resilience doesn’t come from being left alone to tough things out—it grows from being supported through them. That’s what home is supposed to be: a haven.
A soft place to land when the world feels harsh.
But too many homes are anything but restful. We come through the door, phone in hand, and never look up. We drop our bags, sit down, and keep scrolling—without greeting the people who live under the same roof. Without asking how they are.
Parents Gone Missing
That kind of disconnection chips away at family bonds. And what starts as simple disinterest can quickly slide into neglect. Some children come home to empty houses, expected to manage themselves. Some have parents who are emotionally absent—overworked, distracted, or numbed by their own pain.
And even when there’s love, it can’t always be felt through a wall of distraction.
Children interpret what we do far more loudly than what we say. We can tell them we love them, but if our attention is elsewhere, the message they receive is: I don’t matter.
Screens to Feel Seen
That message shapes how they see themselves—and the world. It’s no wonder so many kids feel anxious, depressed, or lonely. They’re not finding connection at home, so they turn to screens for it.
But digital connection isn’t real connection. It doesn’t train the muscles of empathy, conversation, or eye contact.
We can change that by making home a place of presence again. By creating space for conversation—without devices at the table. By noticing when someone’s energy is off and asking about it. By making room for our kids to talk, even when we don’t have easy answers.
Grow With Your Family
Because home is their first community. It’s where they learn what love feels like, how to communicate, and how to belong. When that foundation is strong, they take it everywhere they go.
If you realize you’ve been emotionally absent, you’re not alone. Many of us were never modeled something different. But you can heal while you parent. You can do both.
Start by getting the support you need—through therapy, counseling, journaling, or community. When you’re cared for, you have the bandwidth to care for your child in ways that truly reach them.
That’s how you turn things around. That’s how home becomes a haven again.
Join me for a live Q&A
If you have questions about parenting or navigating your family’s relationship dynamics, I’d be happy to help.
All you need to do is bring your questions.
Scan this QR code to register for the next online gathering on December 10th.
I’m rooting for you!
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**The views and opinions expressed should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your health care professional for any health questions.
Vanessa A. Harris 