At some point, every mom wrestles with the question, “Why am I here?” So, if you’ve ever felt like you missed the path to a fulfilling life, you’re not alone. The good news? You can help your child discover theirs—and in the process, rediscover your own.
I first realized how early this question takes root when my daughter, at just 8 years old, asked, “What are you good at, and how did you know?” Her words revealed something deeper—she was already wondering about her purpose.
As moms, we have a unique privilege: we get a front-row seat to discovering how our children are wired. And by noticing the clues, we can partner with dads to guide them toward paths that match who they’re made to be.
The beauty of human beings is that we are fearfully and wonderfully designed—a fancy way of saying we are uniquely awe-inspiring. Specifically, being the only living things with a body, a soul, and a spirit—using them to interact with the world, each other and our Creator.
And each part of our design holds clues to our path in life.
How Purpose Leaves Clues…
1. Natural Abilities
These are the talents we are born with—expressed through our bodies. It could be a knack for numbers, playing music by ear, or jump shot that always finds the bottom of the net. Abilities give hints about where your child may excel with investment.
2. Temperament
Where you’re likely more familiar with the conversation on personality and the popular tests offered to explain how you show up in the world, temperament it different.
It’s the combination of inherited traits subconsciously influencing everyone’s behavior. Recognizing your child’s temperament helps you understand how they’re wired and how they approach the world. Recognizing yours would do the same for you.
NOTE: I summarize the four temperaments in this video. If you’re interested in a deeper understanding, leave me a comment under the video.
3. Motivational Gifts
These are God-given drives that serve people best when done through a relationship with Him, yet we innately express them. Some combination of the seven gifts motivates a person to encourage, serve, teach, or lead. Even without recognizing it, children show signs of these gifts from an early age.
When you bring all three together—abilities, temperament, and spiritual gifts—you get a clearer picture of the unique design God gave your child.
Middle Child Moment
I take this opportunity to highlight the one who birth order theory says is often overlooked—the son who’s our middle child. He turns that theory on its head because he’s always been one to watch.
He’s athletic, a basketball player like his dad and older brother, but especially gifted with fine motor skills. He loves drawing buildings and creating things with his hands. His temperament blend (melancholy and choleric) makes him both sensitive and driven, while his spiritual gifts of compassion and exhortation draw him to encourage and lead others.
Put all that together, and engineering became a natural fit. By observing him closely, I could guide him toward electives and opportunities that fit his design—without ever dictating what he “had” to do.
What Am I Saying, Moms
Helping your child discover their purpose doesn’t just set them up for fulfillment. It also helps you rediscover your own. Because as you observe their abilities and gifts, you’ll see your own with fresh eyes.
Motherhood gives us a front-row seat to purpose revealed. And the more we notice and nurture it in our kids, the more we remember that our own lives are wired with meaning, too.
I’m rooting for you…
If you’re a mom who’d like more from me, I invite you to join me for Motherhood Unmasked Moments, my weekly newsletter just for you. It’s where I share stories, encouragement, and strategies to help you navigate your family’s inner workings with clarity and confidence.
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**The views and opinions expressed should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your health care professional for any health questions.
Vanessa A. Harris 